Back by popular demand after a couple weeks off
"The Japanese Show" is in full force...whether you like it or not.Ý
Okay, things to cover---Let's get "Nihoned" and Why I changed emails
(hopefully everyone realizes that by now) with other money things,
the Japanese mafia, and some class room news. ÝÝÝ --------->First let me
say thank you to all of you (you know who you are) who took the time
to write and say that you are reading what I am sending.Ý I understand
how life is pretty busy so I am very grateful that ya'll (Southern
twang) take some time out.Ý Okay, why the email change?Ý One word--Money.Ý
My email/phone bill (email costs money everytime you use the phone...all
calls local and long distance cost money in Japan) was over $150...add
that to the $140 Compuserve charges and you have a very upset American
in Japanland.Ý See, Compuserve neglected to tell me about all the
other charges that would be attached when using their server here...plus
I had to call Tokyo to support my 56k modem (ask a computer wiz or
my brother, who often bails out my family and me with computer info,
about what that means).Ý So it was high time I got something else
that only will cost me $30 a month...cheap by Japanese standards...eventhough
Americans believe everyone in Japan has email and it shouldn't be
a problem...of course you are wrong...I know only a handful of people
who have it...Technology---something that is an export of Japan and not
kept here...outside of the cellphones.Ý ÝÝÝ Now to get a new email
account was like everything here...a process..such a process that I won't
go into all of it.Ý Let's just say I had to fill out a "contract"
and send it by mail (nothing is done over the phone here...all paper work)
and after the email company gets it they decide it's okay and mail
you back...this process takes a week...nothing done quickly here.
ÝÝÝ Oh and another thing.Ý When I wanted to find out how much certain
calls were, for instance to Tokyo, I couldn't quickly.Ý You ask why
would I have to find out since it is on the phonebill? Well you assume
it is on the phonebill, but once again you are wrong.Ý The bill comes
with a bunch of charges...for instance monthly base prices (for renting
the phone line, for the general fee...for breathing) and in the middle
of that list is a lump sum of all your calls...so you have no idea
what a call costs or if someone made some type of mistake...a mistake in
Japan? ...impossible.Ý No wonder why no one had a clue in my office
or anywhere else when I asked how much it was to call Tokyo...no
one knows...I did however get lots of looks as if I were from another
planet for asking.Ý Well, to get a detailed bill again you have to
fill out the paper work...give over your rights to your firstborn...and
swear away your soul...after a couple weeks you might get it...I
haven't yet though.Ý ÝÝÝ I have a new word for this kind of
culture shock...when things don't make any sense whatsoever to me...I
like to call it being "Nihoned" (Nihon being the name of Japan to all
of Asia but not to the Western world...I will get into that some other
time).Ý Another case of being "Nihoned" are the ATMs here.Ý In America
it is very rare an ATM is closed...they are meant to be open when the
bank is closed...hence why they exist.Ý Here ATMs are closed when the bank
closes...which is pretty often with all the festival holidays...so if you
are..say out of money because you went to Tokyo and had no idea that EVERYTHING
would cost an arm, leg, and an eyeball...and it happens to be a national
festival day, or after 6pm...you will be broke until a bank opens.Ý Not
that it has happened to me or anything.Ý I went to an ATM that said opened
24hrs...well it wasn't opened.Ý I even went to an "American" ATM...it
wouldn't take either my Japanese or American cash cards...or my credit
cards...pretty strange. Chalk it up to the "Nihonization" of Americans.
ÝÝÝ ------->Last weekend (that would be the one before this past
weekend) a couple friends of mine (I still manage to pay them...Kristin
and Rafi..they are in the crowd tonight) went to one of the bigger
cities in my Gunma Prefecture...Tagasaki.Ý I know this town to be
where I had to get my re-entry visa pass so I could come back here
after leaving, and also the place that has the 2 nude statues of a Western
female and male right outside the train station...don't ask because I have
no idea.Ý Well, on this happy occasion we walked out of the station
and noticed a ring of 100 or so young Japanese men and women surrounding
the statues. Most were dressed in some sort of "gang" uniform...on
the back of one we could read "Blood"...where were the Crypts? (that
would be another gang in the US like the Bloods if you don't know...I
am all knowing about US gang relations afterall)Ý Okay, what was
this all about?Ý Each person had to take a couple steps inside the
big ring and yell something at the top of his/ her (there were a
handful of young "ladies"...notice the quotes around ladies?Ý I use
the term very loosly) lungs.Ý If they were into it then the rest
of the crowd would respond with something in Japanese that I couldn't
understand.Ý Still I was waiting for the Western virgin sacrifice
for that is what it seemed like was going on...we were the only Westerns
in the area...not a good thing...luckily we were on top of a balcony
looking down on this so there was some distance separating us.Ý
ÝÝÝ Finally a man came up to us...an Iranian actually and in broken
English and mostly Japanese, which Rafi and Kristen understood...told
us that this was an induction ceremony for the Japanese mafia.Ý How
lovely.Ý I heard stories about the JM...they had tatooes all over
their bodies, missing fingers from ceremonies, and an assortment
of other shady things I won't go into.Ý Well the Iranian guy, who
said he was a rocket scientist who worked for NASA though he could barely
speak English (should we believe him after that statement?), said the mafia
has changed its policy now.Ý They try to put these little tykes in
different jobs to be plants and they figured out that they couldn't
be secretaries or gofers if they were missing fingers (hard to type
that way) and had tatooes everywhere.Ý I guess it was a "kinder,
gentler" mafia...how nice...but we weren't going to sing "Kumbaya"
with them just the same so we left with our new found knowledge and
a feeling we had just witnessed something of history...or so we told
ourselves. ÝÝÝ -------------->Well some classroom news.Ý At
one of my Jr Highs it is common to go around and ask how each person
is doing as you know from an email a little while ago.Ý Well, we
(the Carpenters loving teacher and I) decided to change it a bit...we
decided to ask each student what they liked doing.Ý Again, the basic
answers...listen to music, sleep, play video games, make cakes...well again
I was shocked when a student who looked like the quiet, studious
type said "I am drug dealer"...I don't know if he was kidding or
if he was part of the new happy mafia image.Ý ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ At my
other Jr High I was presently surprised when I received some letters in
my little shoebox-mailbox.Ý For the week I had 16 letters..how nice...what
is even better is the fact they were folded quite nicely...mostly
in the shape of hearts...however I have yet to master how to fold
them back...I try to follow the folds but get so frustrated that
I fold it my way...kinda my attitude sometimes with being Nihoned...Franky
Sinatra would be happy "I did it my way"