Now if you throw a bunch of plastic ears on the
stage I will be forced to mock you.Ý Well as you may have guessed
this email is about a speech I gave on Saturday.Ý A few months ago
an older gentleman at my Board of Education asked me if I could give
a speech.Ý Thinking that it probably was something minor and my eagernest
to please (or my overt stupidity) I immediately said yes to the proposal.ÝTHEN
he gave me details.Ý I had to give it in Japanese (did I ever mention
I don't speak the language), it would be at the concert hall (the
most important building in my town), it had to be between 15-20 mins
long (don't even speak that long in English), and there would be
about 200 people there including the mayor (the Prime Minister's brother)
my bosses, my fellow teachers and students.Ý Gee what a great opportunity
to offend every level of my little town society.Ý ÝÝÝ So I
set out to write the speech in English and begged a friend of mine,
Leisa, to translate it for me.Ý Today I would like to publicly thank
Leisa for bailing me out.Ý She's in the audience.Ý ÝÝÝ Still
once I got the translation via email (wonderful technology) I still
had to learn how to read some of the Japanese words.Ý Some of them
are a little difficult to say...to say the least.Ý One such word
is "wakanarakatta".Ý Actually that was easier than some of the other
words.Ý So I read each sentence a dozen times and read each page
together a dozen more.Ý The speech was about the time when I got
lost on the wrong train, about another time I lost my cell phone (you all
know these stories) and some other observations.Ý I also wanted to show
a little bit of my sumo video soÝI made arrangements for that. ÝÝÝ
As the big day was drawing near there were still some concerns.Ý
One was the fact that everytime I read my speech to some Japanese
people they corrected it, which was okay except for a couple times
when some later Japanese people corrected what some earlier people had
corrected.Ý Follow that? Who was correct?Ý Do they know their language?Ý
So there was a rehearsal that went over okay except before it I went
to convert my sumo video from my 8mm film to a regular video tape and the
film broke.Ý Luckily my friend Rafi had his video that I made for him way
back when still available.Ý I had to drive 2hrs there and back to get it
though.Ý ÝÝÝ I found out that I was going to give my speech
fourth after three other speeches and an award ceremony.Ý So I had
to sit back stage and sweat it out while not knowing anything anyone said
for 2hrs.Ý I don't know why couldn't they just have me go first...oh
well.ÝÝ ÝÝÝ So I stood up and walked to the podium andÝstarted.Ý
The speech went over okay I suppose.Ý I did my best to make sure
I pronounced every word correctly.Ý I wasn't about to make any blunders
there.Ý Of course I messed up a few times...lost my placeÝonce and
though I felt IÝhad turned red with embarrassment a friend of mine
said it wasn't noticeable.ÝÝ ÝÝÝ The reward for meÝdoing thisÝwas
a pen, a few coupons for things bought in my town, aÝbox ofÝlunch food
(sushi) and the appreciation of everyone who went.Ý PeopleÝcontinue to
say to me that my Japanese is wonderful....Japanese people lie very well.Ý
One funny observation is the fact that my Superintendent alwaysÝspoke
English to me beforeÝthe speech and the first time I saw him after the
speech he broke out in really fast Japanese.Ý I proceeded to give him my
"What in tarnation are you saying" look that I've perfectedÝin my 1 and
half years here and the reality that I indeedÝdon't understand too much
brought him back to earth.Ý He thus started with English.ÝÝ ÝÝÝ Looking
backÝI'm glad I did it but I'm moreÝglad it's over.Ý Ý