Well it was a little difficult for me to come up with some  kind of title that would incorporate the different stories I'm going to  tell...but then I remember that no one reads the Subject line so why  worry? ››› So at school, in my classes, we start up  with some kind of warmup activity.› Most of the time I ask my students a  question or they ask me one.› This day I was going to ask them some.›  That day was also the day the floor was unusually waxed...I mean it's waxed  everyday which would explain why my knees are so bad now from constantly  slipping... but this day it really was slippery.› I took to asking my  students various questions as I leaned against a book cabinet.› How many  people are in you family?› What color do you like?› So I was getting  bored and I asked one of the guys, "How many girlfriends do I have?" He  responded, "2,000" and with that my feet slipped from underneath me and the  fight to maintain my balance began.› Ever see a slapstick comedy show and  someone is trying his best not to fall?› There are times when the legs and  arms go way up in the air only to gain balance.› That man was me.› The  process took 5 secs but it felt like a 30min show.› Just when I thought it  was regained I fell the opposite way as my legs went high up into the air in  front of me and my head hit the floor.› Everyone was stunned or  laughing.› The teacher asked if I was okay...and I said..."I have 2,000  girlfriends?› What do you think?" ››› In my adult class I normally start out with  asking everyone how his/her weekend went.› Sometimes I'm stunned and kick  myself when someone says, "Well my mother died and we morned for her the whole  time."› Or stunned but grateful for the cultural insight when someone  responds with, "Well, a friend of ours died 7yrs ago and it is custom to get  together every 3 yrs, 7yrs, 15yrs, 17yrs, 23yrs, and 33yrs on the anniversary of  the death to drink and remember."› Well this one time in January I should  have known that the topic might be the mandatory health check that Japanese  workers have to get.› This one guy started out with "Friday I had dinner  with my family.› Saturday I drank a camera."› "Drank a what?" I  responded.› "A camera."› "You mean something else right?" "No, I had  health test and drank camera.› Looks for cancer." "Oh, is that common for  the test?"› He said, "I volunteered because I wanted to know."› With  that, another man chimed in with, "I do that every year and sometimes in my  anus."› There was a 10min description on how the camera made it up there in  the presence of women...and that with me doing my best to limit it.› Let's  just say the Japanese talk about these things pretty openly.› A topic one  day might be someone's constipation...no big deal to discuss it all  here. ››› So two weeks ago was the graduation  ceremony.› The 3rd years (9th graders) left and for two weeks only the 1st  and 2nd years had class until Springbreak, which there is a closing ceremony for  because that is the official end of the school year and the 1st and 2nd years  advance.› Let me just describe a little of the ceremonies here that I find  interesting.› The students all sit on the floor in perfect lined  rows.› A man yells out for everyone to stand and bow.› Then he says,  "The Vice-principal will now give the opening speech to this year's closing  ceremony.› Vice-principal, please."› The Vice-principal bows to the  teachers, bows to the principal, walks up›on the stage, bows to the flag,  makes his way to the microphone, bows to the students, and with all that pomp  says, "This is the opening speech for the closing ceremony of this year.›  Thank you."› He then bows to the students, bows to the flag, walks off the  stage, bows to the principal, and finally bows to the teachers.› I look  around like, "Are you kidding me?› That was it?"› Turn around time of  4mins which I might add is scheduled to the exact minute in the program..."Vice  Principle's Opening Speech:› 9:47 to 9:51am.› So after the other parts  of the ceremony, sure enough the guy says, "Now the Vice-principal will give the  closing speech for the closing ceremony of this year.› Vice-principal  please."› Bow, bow bow, bow..."This is the closing speech for the closing  ceremony of this year.› Thank you."›› Bow, bow, bow, bow.›  Then everyone notices that the ceremony didn't end at exactly 10:28am and there  will be a committe to adjust next year's ceremony to make sure it  does.›Funny funny stuff.›  ›››